Week 6

It's time for another weekly update, and this week was good!  We had school conferences this week, which makes for crazy schedules, no naps, and tired little ones.  We trekked up to Minnesota for a quick trip (no school on Friday) and had a great time together.  We're now home and plan to rest up for the next 36 hours until the week begins again.  I did terrible at taking pictures this week.  :( 

We had firsts this week -
1. trips to the dentist for Zoe first (she did amazing!  no tears at all) and then Etta (only tears with flouride) but no cavities at all!
2.  swimming!  They both loved it.  Zoe was so comfortable in the water.  Lying on her back, putting her face in and blowing bubbles.  Etta was thrilled!  Lots of giggling and screaming.  Fearful at first, but jumping in by the end of the day.  We spent 5 hours in the water!!  I don't think I've been in the pool that long since I was a child.  :)
3.  tubing!  We tried out tubing today in Minnesota, despite the weather.  The sun was shining but it was a frigid 9 degrees with a below zero windchill.  The girls LOVED it.  All Zoe would say at the bottom of the hill was again, again!!  Etta giggled and screamed her way down the hill and quickly learned how the "magic carpet" works.  They did amazing!  The other 3 loved it as well.  Drew was so fast no one could keep up with him!  When we volunteered to go with him, he said, "no thanks."  Probably for fear we would slow him down.  :)  Callie was such a big help.  She carried Etta's tube for her, and stuck with her to help out!  We couldn't have done it without her.  Carson loved it too, though he loved skiing even more.  Mark took Callie, Carson, and Drew skiing on Friday.  It was a bit too much and after a bloody nose and fear of loosing Drew off the bottom of the hill when he bombed it before knowing how to stop, he brought Drew back to the hotel.  Carson and Callie continued skiing and were doing blue runs by the end of the day!  The video is great!  Drew was a little sad, but happy to swim and hang out with us for the rest of the day.
4.  a full day of school for Etta!  She does well, but doesn't love having to go everyday.  She's learning like crazy.  My favorite was the card she brought home for Daddy and Mommy (addressed to us by her) and inside it said "I love you Daddy and Mommy!"  She was so proud!!  All from a girl that has been in school for a week and the US for 6 weeks. 
5.  other firsts - Chick-fil-a dinner at the mall and a short (very short) necessity Scheels trip for snow gear.  Our first real week of COLD.  Our first interaction with a VERY nice couple from Ethiopia today at the tubing hill.  Etta was in full shut-down trauma mode.  Zoe was very comfortable with them.  I felt so horribly for Etta.  I think she was very afraid she was leaving with them.  She was completely back to normal the moment we got in the car.  The couple was so sweet, and even invited us to their home for a meal!  It wouldn't work today, and they were very sympathetic to Etta and how she was feeling.

We've been watching TCU's trust based parenting videos.  A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!  Every technique I've tried has been so helpful.  I LOVE the catch phrases.  It's really helped me deal with the shut-down syndrome that our girls tend to have.  I'm really hoping to go to the Empowered to Connect seminar in Denver.

What a week!  The Lord is good.  He continues to provide for each and every moment, I'm so thankful.  What a complete blessing these girls are to our family.

Week 5 - a bunch of firsts!

This week has been busy, but all good things!!  We are so grateful for a healthy week.  :)

Monday was an MRI for Zoe.  It was for a previous possible condition, and everything came out completely healthy!  Praise God!!  She did so well, and cried only a very few tears.  She was a rockstar, and the nurses learned a lot about how cool adoption is!!

First day of school with Mrs. V.

Etta's first school paper

 

It's impossible to get a good picture of all 5 kids!

Riding her bike

Etta and her bike!

Wednesday was a big day!  Etta had her first day of school ever!  She was excited, but a bit nervous.  She loved it.  In fact, we planned for half days for her first week, and she wanted to stay the whole day.  She's coming home after lunch recess everyday, much to her classmates dismay.  She's been the excitement of the week for her class.  She told me of her first day, "Mommy, school, come, come" while pulling at her own arm.  :)  The teacher instituted a one helper a day rule the next day.  Etta had a pack pulling her around the first day!  My wonderful friend, Stephanie, has been Etta's one-on-one teacher daily, and it was so easy to leave her in such capable hands.  She's doing great!  We don't know how much she's taking in, but if it's even close to the first month, she will have it figured out in no time.

Our crazy warm winter has also brought other news.  Etta can officially pump her own swing, actually she's been able to for a few weeks now.  She can also ride a bike!  We hadn't planned on getting a bike until the spring, but because it's been so warm, we went and got one this week.  Everyday after school she asks, "Etta inside?", translated "can we go outside and ride bikes?".  She loves it!  It took her about 5 minutes to learn how to pedal, we're still working on the brake and stopping.  :)

Zoe has a bike too, but she'd rather be pushed around for now.  We'll see how long it takes...  She tolerated leaving Etta at school the first day.  She was a bit confused, but now 3 days in, she's totally fine with it.  She and Drew have played together more.  They had a great time playing playdough all morning today.  We'll see how it goes when she's the only one home.  She also had a "healthy" 3 year old visit on Thursday, and she's doing great!  We have another specialist scheduled soon, but hopefully not too many doctors visits.  She knows the pediatrician's office already!

Zoe's feeling about leaving Etta at school

Callie, Carson, and Drew are doing well.  Drew and Carson have become even closer buddies, and they can be found playing beyblades and talking video games most of the time.  Callie entertains the girls most of the time she's home.  She's had lots of opportunities to get away with friends on the weekends, too.  She is such a help to me, not sure how we'd get along without her!  Bedtime seems to be our biggest challenge at this point.  The girls (Etta and Zoe) are taking a considerable amount of time to get down (like an hour!!).  This isn't our usual routine, but we feel they need a little extra still (mostly Zoe), so we oblige.  Soon, we will be thinking about how to make that more manageable.  The other kids miss having mom at bedtime, and a lot of the time the boys are already asleep when I make it to their room to say goodnight.  It's a work in progress...  But we'll get there!

Zoe and Drew love each other!

Another fun hairstyle on a moving subject.

Continue praying for our family, please!!  Protection from illness, attachment for the girls, and a bond for the entire family as we work out new dynamics.  The Lord has been so good to us, we know absolutely that this is where we are supposed to be, but it is hard (somedays more than others!!) and worth it.

Week 4 - we survived

This has been one of the hardest weeks of my life.  The girls are really doing quite well, despite the chaos.  I'm going to timeline this week, and really I'm not looking for sympathy, I just want to remember all that we went through the last week of January 2012.  Despite our weakness, God is strong.

Monday, while getting dressed, I re-herniated a disc in my back.  I was in so much pain that I called Mark.  Thanks to our inroads in the medical field, I was able to get a MRI and then an epidural that afternoon.  It would not have been possible without our friends and family.  They drove me, took care of kids, cooked, cleaned, and more.  We are blessed.  The girls (Etta and Zoe) were away from us all afternoon, and they did amazingly well.  Praise the Lord.  I returned home Monday evening and went to bed, only to be awakened by Callie at 2am.  She had the stomach flu...  We then spent the entire night on the couch making frequent runs to the bathroom.  Poor baby...

Tuesday, my back felt tremendously better, and I took care of kiddos all day, and tried to keep them separated.  Please don't let anyone else get sick...

Wednesday, noone else had gotten sick, and we pushed through.  Carson was a little trooper, and went to school each day.  Etta and Zoe were doing well.  We even took a quick trip to Old Navy (Carson suddenly had no jeans that fit!) and they loved the manaquins.  :)

Thursday, everyone was back to school.  I did some errands, and tried again, unsuccessfully to buy Etta shoes.  She wants black patten leather heels.  Hmm, not gonna happen.  Sorry sweetie!  After a fall to the ground all out fit at the store, we made it home.  Not trying that again anytime soon...  Thursday night was our first post-adoption meeting with our social worker.  It went well.  She is absolutely the best.  So encouraging, so many good ideas, and so calm.  She answered all questions and we left the night feeling very hopeful.  The girls are doing so incredibly, it's amazing.  God is faithful.

Friday morning, I awoke to serious vertigo.  I tried several times to sit up and it was terrible.  I stumbled down the hall, bumping into the walls to wake up the kids and then rushed back to bed.  After determining there was absolutely no way that I could get up and get the kids ready, I called my sis, Andrea, again...  They were here shortly and the kids were in good hands.  We determined I needed to go the ER and made the second 911 call to Mark of the week!  I've only done this once before in our marriage!!  Darwin drove me to the hospital, stayed with me all day in the ER and then I stayed overnight and until Saturday late afternoon.  I finally got home last night, exhausted but so thankful.  The ER doctor was concerned that I may have a brain tumor, and had even sent the films to an oncologist radiologist.  Praise God I don't have a brain tumor and for quick recovery.  Praise God for loving care for our kids and us.  Praise God for family that goes above and beyond.  Praise God for a church family that knows how to take care of us.  I hate feeling needy, but the Lord has definitely taught me this week that He is in control.  That my neediness is ok.  That people love serving our family, and that my worth isn't tied to my performance.  He's also shown that He can take care of our kids.  Even though the last week hasn't been optimal, or our plan for our girls attachment, they have done great.

Beautiful girls

Zoe, Mama, and Etta

Again our verse:
Exodus 14:14
¹⁴ The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Week 3

Loving outside

crazy boys

callie and zoe on the slide

she loves the cold!

having fun with cousins

maddie and etta

auntie and zoe - trying to win her over :)

cousin fun

uncle and carson

Today marks three weeks home! Amazing. Time is flying by. I just read last weeks summary and am shocked myself in how much things have changed in a week! The biggest change is definitely in Zoe. She's coming out of her shell. She has new words daily, sometimes hourly, and Wow!! Is she ever opinionated!! It's almost hard to believe she's the same quiet child that I brought home. She gives me a run for my money and LOVES the word no like most toddlers. She still eats more than a man, but is branching out a ton on things she likes. She decided she really likes corn dogs and ranch dip this week! She's ready for the Iowa state fair. :). She's still sleeping good, but tells me exactly what to do at bedtime. Tonight she crossed the line when her last request was lipgloss. ;). Her babies must be wrapped exactly right or else I will pay!  She also loves to tell me "Wolayta" and walk to the computer.  She and Etta both love to listen and dance to Wolayta music on youtube.  So cute.  She still won't give Mark the time of day.  We've tried everything.  It's just going to take time.  So, so hard, because he never gets to see her cute, hilarious side.  She becomes a quiet statue when he comes home.  Zoe's not a big fan of the cold, and it's hard because she loves to go outside.  Spring and summer will be great for her.

Etta enjoyed (thoroughly, as in watched three times today because I couldn't refuse), Cinderella! She was disgusted by the step mother, and must have told me to watch 1,000 times. Her face was so, so cute though. She just loved it. She also had her first doughnut this week and asked for another. Guess we have already gotten over the dislike of sweets!! She understands almost all English already, and even translates for me with Zoe as least once a day. She loves to learn, and has started to get frustrated when she can't remember a word. Her pouting has decreased tremendously and she is getting used to our routine.  She LOVES the snow.  We haven't had much this winter and it's been seriously cold this week, so she hasn't gotten nearly enough time in it.  I can't wait for a little sledding, hopefully soon.

On the whole, we are doing great.  I'm second guessing myself a lot less.  I feel like I know the girls better, and it's so much easier to tell what they want and need.  We've spent some time at other people's homes and the girls have done pretty well.  We are slowly branching out and are planning on trying church this weekend.

2 weeks home, well... almost!

Tomorrow is 2 weeks home!  In a way it's hard to believe in another...  it's been a lifetime.  :)  We've been to the doctor's office three times, the pharmacy 4, the grocery store probably 10, Target three (twice for mama's sanity), Goodwill once, the dump twice, and mostly done a lot of staying home!  LOL  If you know me, you know the last one is making me a bit crazy.  It really is easier to stay home, but not when mama gets stir crazy. 

The girls are doing amazingly well.  Of course they have their moments, but as a whole it's remarkable.  A good friend asked me today how the adjustment was going.  I told her, I almost have to remind myself to think about it.  It's really busy with five kids!!  The "mom I need you" from the other room has doubled or maybe tripled.  :)  It's good to be asked that question, though, because it makes me think about how far we've come in 2 weeks. 

Etta is personality plus.  She is full of drama (good and bad).  She definitely lets you know what she needs.  She's a survivor, she's done it on her own for so long, but it's so fun to see her let me baby her.  She's a words of affirmation kind of girl.  Give her a job and tell her what a good job she did and she smiles so brightly it makes my day.  She's not picky at all about food, but she hates anything sweet.  I'm sure that will change!!  She ADORES her big sister, and her favorite time of day is when Callie returns home from school.  In fact, it's a bit exhausting for Callie, she loves her so much.  :)  She has big opinions on her clothing and hair, and always wants to make sure she looks konjo (beautiful).  The sparkly shoes I bought from Target are her best friends.  She even wore them in the snow today, with socks, of course...  Not mommy's fav.  Oh well.  I'm picking my battles.  She also loves anything electronic.  Fits right in here.  :)  Her voice is gorgeous.  The girl can pick up any tune from anywhere and sing it perfectly.  I LOVE when she sings songs in her native language.  I want so badly to get them videotaped, but of course as soon as I pull it out, the songs stop!  I did my first whole head of braids today.  It turned out pretty well, and Etta was so happy.  I love her hair down, she has beautiful curls, but she is not such a fan.

Etta and the adorable cake that Kelly brought us.

Three silly girls

Princess Zoe and her common face

Love for Nonnie

Zoe is as sweet as can be.  She already has several nicknames, but the little princess is most fitting.  She's definitely a youngest...  She sings so sweetly, in fact most of the words we have heard from her little mouth have been via song.  She already knows This is the day, Jesus loves me, and tonight she was singing A you're adorable to me.  :)  She loves to be outside, so the first week home was such a gift.  Today, she's had a really hard time understanding why she couldn't go out and play.  Until of course, we took her out.  She hates the cold!  She loves to eat, and it takes her forever.  Or maybe it's just that she is always eating!!  I can't believe how much she can eat.  She loves her big sister, and is always watching for her reactions.  She is the quiet observer a lot of the time, and especially when people she doesn't know are around.  She is not at all fond of men, and we are praying this away, as she is still very reserved around Mark.  We've made progress, but I surely can't wait until she loves her daddy.

My mom's summary of our trip

Dear Sisters and friends,  This was our first picture as we arrived back in the great old USA!!!  I must say at that point if you will look at me my baggage under my eyes was a mile deep!!!!  We have many amazing stories to share.  We started the journey home at 11p on Thursday night.  We landed in Beirut, Lebanon at 3AM and went on to London arriving sometime in the early afternoon.  After brief layover we took off for Chicago and arrived there also in the early afternoon and had an angel who walked us through customs and immigration for Etta and Zoe.  The girls (3)  were amazing with only a few episodes to laugh about later.  On the United plane from London we had the "old broads" for stewardesses  as Uncle Jim used to call them.  Most were ok but one was over the hill!  She told Erin after Zoe (3) inadvertanly pushed the call button that it rang in the cock pit and Erin MUST stop her.  Erin had tried but the button was on the armrest so she ended up holding her the rest of the trip.  Several others( not 3 years old) had the same problem as you use your armrest to get out of chairs that are 6 inches apart!      

Etta had had an ear infection which we diagnosed and began treatment on as we knew it would be painful to travel with.  She did well except in Beirut where she cried.  after that we dosed her with antihistamines along with her antibiotic.  Then she got sick on landing but no ear pain!  Good sport about all considering not much language.  The last flight from Chicago to DesMoines we were all wiped out.  Callie and Etta fell into DEEP slumber and Callie especially was a few minutes from being on the next flight!  We were greeted at the airport by no less than 60 of Mark and Erins friends!  I could hardly talk ---it still makes me teary.  What a neat support team!  They carried luggage took pictures,  brought dinner and gave many hugs.  My favorite moment was Drew "introducing  himself"  Hi Etta,  I Drewie.  I will send you the picture.  Priceless.  

Now to back track----We arrived in Ethiopia right on schedule Christmas Eve night.  A Holt Agency driver met us and drove us to the hotel about 10 minutes from the airport.(He did not speak English---we did not speak Amharic)  It was an American type small hotel and adequate.  Similar but not quite as nice as the Barcelona Hotel where Sandy, Pat and us stayed.  We had two rooms as we knew we would be getting the girls several days before we left.  My room was on the back of the hotel...Callie and Erin on the front.  I had not slept on the plane and could not get to my sleeping pills until it was TOO late to matter.  Lots of turbulent flights so lots of seat belt time.  So Early Christmas AM the prayer started!  I mean 3AM.  The mosques wail or some said also the coptic church wails their prayer.  Let me tell you...not pleasant.  I knew what it was as I had heard it in Tanzania just not so loud.  From Erins room it was muted but they had the dog packs!  The sounds of Ethiopian nights are a mixture of animals, people, squalor, loud speakers.  (Even with ear plugs)  Eventually I gave up plugged in my IPOD and listenen to my music:)  Sooo Christmas day  dawned!  We knew this was our only day to SEE Addis Ababa so we hired a driver (another story but   do not want this to be an epistle so later)  Driver number 2 comes and takes us to his favorite places.  The first church Entoto,  where the dynasty of Ethiopia began. Queen of Sheba and more recently Haile Sylassie (Lion of Judah)  of some fame.----  National Museum, and National Church.  We also went to a restaurant where we had Pizza.  They were occupied by Italians and lots of remaining Influences.  Also tried their beer St George (really good).  Our strangest experience of the day was the airport style pat down at the national museum.  There was a group of people and this lady officer who had NO uniform comes up goes straight for the boobs and all her "friends"  break out laughing!  Erin and I both were SHOCKED and still wonder if this was for real or if we were scammed.  The museum housed the "LUCY"  supposedly earliest "human"  being.  They are VERY proud of it all and worried you will blow it up I guess or steal it or put it in your bra?

Monday we went to meet Etta and Zoe (Ehitnesh and Firehiwot).  They are beautiful little girls and were very subdued although they had been prompted to come to us.  I am sure they remembered (at least Etta) Erin and especially when she showed them a copy of the books she had given them in June.  We played and then talked to the nurse in charge and the pediatritian.  Finally they had a farewell ceremony where they served coffee and cake and popcorn and the older children were brought in as well as all the staff. the girls were dressed in traditional Ethiopian dress. The day started at 10 A and we got back to the hotel at 5P.

When we got into the room at the hotel the little girls changed dramatically.  Zoe danced and spontaneously sang a song I had been singing to them  "This is the day the Lord has made"  The nurse told Erin she had not seen Etta smile like she did in the 4 weeks she had been in Addis!  We have been "home" now for 21/2 days.  Last night they finally let Erin sleep.  Their days and nights (ours too) were flipped.  They are somewhat afraid to let Erin  out of sight but each day you can see the change.  They were very willing to include me until I left them to sleep but it did make it so they really understood who Mom is.  Sometimes they call me Ayat (grandma)  sometimes they ignore me but always Erin is watched.  Mark is slowly making his way into hearts also...but they are shy.  

Well this is not so short but as you can all tell...your prayers were answered.  Thanks so much dear friends and dear sisters and brothers in law.  Happy New Year,  Linda Z

We are home!!

Today marks a week home!  It's so hard to believe...  In some ways it feels like a day, in others the girls have always been here.

Generally, I think we are doing really well.  The girls are adjusting as are the other 5 of us.  I'd say the first few days home were some of my hardest ever, but I think it was more related to being sick and tired.  Ever since the girls started sleeping, I've felt like a new woman.  My parents have been here, which has been so helpful.  Having another driver, someone doing laundry, and thinking about food/shopping, etc. has been priceless.

The girls bonded to me very quickly.  It's been hard for poor Mark.  They were terrified of men from the moment we picked them up from the care center.  Etta is coming around, and now loves playing tag/tickle with daddy, but Zoe is so scared!  Open for any suggestions from other veterans.  I know it will take time, but I'd love to be able to help her with her fear.

We've survived first trips in the car, first doctor appointments, first pick-up from school for the big kids.  Today we tried Target...  big mistake.  Oh well, now I know!  We all were so happy to be home.  :)

First smiles at home

custody day

farewell ceremony

first family picture

sister love

We've been so blessed by friends and family providing meals, diet coke, calling from the grocery store, and the sweetest airport welcoming I could imagine.  More later...  My sweet Etta has a tea party ready to be served.  :)